“I had no idea”

It has been almost a year since my last post. When thinking of what I was going to blog about I knew it had to be something tremendous. The title of this post is “I had no idea”. Some of you may recognize this phrase as it was the theme of the National Eating Disorder Awareness week , which just ended this past Sunday. My name is Sarah Neville and I am not only a full time student studying to be a pastry chef but I am also on full time recovery from my eating disorder.

It is not common to look at a group of chefs and ponder if any of them have an eating disorder because it is not something commonly associated with this type of industry… but here’s the thing you have no idea.. (NEDA picked a clever theme right?!) An eating disorder doesn’t mean that you don’t eat and you exercise all day; it means you are *consumed and are continuously being tormented by a little voice that’s constantly saying, “you’re fat.” My ED (eating disorder) could have ruined my life- it almost prevented me from doing what I love because I couldn’t stand to taste what I made: don’t let it ruin yours. There is help out there; furthermore, you’re not facing this disease on your own, there’s a whole community of us willing to help you with your ED.

In honor of National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) awareness week here’s a picture of a slice of apple pie. I am posting it because shortly after this photo was taken I ate the entire thing. I’m not in the least ashamed to say I ate a whole slice of apple pie. More importantly I didn’t have to spend 10 minutes just staring at that wonderfully crumbly apple pie convincing myself not to eat it because I would put on 5 disgusting pounds of fat. 

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